A little aha moment

Day 34 of 100 days of running

I’m coming to all sorts of insights on this running journey, about running and about myself and probably about life in general. And what I’m learning now, is probably just common knowledge, or nuggets most runners probably learnt so long ago they’ve almost forgotten about it.

Running every day for 100 days isn’t something everyone agrees on but I’m on day 34 now and it really is an amazing experience.

Pretty often I feel I just don’t want to get out there. I’m tired. I’m cold. I’m glum. I have too much to do. I’m a crap runner. I’m never going to be fast like those other guys, so what’s the point? I could just give up running forever and never think about it again. And then, because I’ve committed to running at least 3 km every day (3 km is rest day distance), I get into the gear and I get out there. And for the first kay or two my body parts protest and I think this is stupid and I need a rest day, and will it still count as 100 days of running if I take a rest day … and then it all settles down and I start to feel better, then good and then, usually, pretty great.

Yesterday was one of those days. I had run the Tortoise Winter Trail Series on Sunday, which was 12 km of up and up, a little bit of down and more up. I found it tough going. It reminded me again of how much more training I need and what a novice I am. Monday was a long, long day at the computer that had me feeling stale and inert. I delayed and delayed getting out there. I didn’t feel like going and I didn’t feel like running anymore. Period. Done. Shoes and spandex hung up forever. But it’s 100 days of running. I’m committed. And so I hauled myself off, got dressed and headed out with the dogs and the Significant Other. We ran an easy 5 km with them in the cold and dark and I felt good. Great, in fact.

And then, later on, in the shower, it struck me: it’s not that I don’t feel like running. It’s got nothing to do with feeling at all. I only think I don’t want to run. It’s all in that damn noisy head of mine – along with all those other negative untruths, all the other anvils that hold me back. What I really do feel is the need to run, and that need comes from another source, I don’t know where that source is, but it’s from the place that makes you crave things that make you feel good.

That’s what the coach was talking about when he said ‘run with your heart’. It’s to run from that place where you find the will to put the shoes on when you’re cold, tired, glum and feeling defeated. From the place where you feel, not from the place where you think you feel.

Now the trick is to hold onto this lesson!

View from the Tortoise Winter Trail Series, Stellenbosch. Pic taken by Firstborn Daughter.

View from the Tortoise Winter Trail Series, Stellenbosch. Pic taken by Firstborn Daughter.

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2 thoughts on “A little aha moment

  1. I only think I don’t want to run… That’s it. That’s exactly what it is for me too! You just found the perfect words to say it.

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